Line forms to the left, fellas.

Let's review what's going on with my face right now:

1. I'm producing medically unadvisable amounts of snot that cause me to honk loudly every few minutes into a tissue.

1a.) Therefore my undernose is red and chapped, like a sad, red Hitler moustache.

2.) I have a sty by my right eye.

3.) I have a bad mofo of a coldsore chillin' out in the bottom left corner of my mouth. My Kate emoticon looks like this now :-).
This is not herpes, as my friend pointed out. It's just one sore, so it's really just herpe. A herp, if you will.

I'd like to point out that so far not one of these ailments is a zit, which bodes well for me. Furthmore, I'd like to point out that I'm single. Somehow.