OK, just one more post, then I'll shut up about Obama. (P.S. That was a lie.)

What have you been doing with yourself in the post-election emotional crash? Buying commemorative plates and then shaking your head proudly at our new president's "kind eyes" and your own cleverness for somehow scoring this 24-carat-plated masterpiece? Me too. Of course you have. It's the American way. Soon enough the nation's curios will be stuffed silly with these heirlooms.

When you're done insuring your children's retirements with these masterpieces, may I kindly suggest you buy yourself one of these posters? It's from this infinitely clever and talented Brooklyn (where else?) artist Patrick Moberg.

Let's hope it up, y'all.

Last year about this time I worked with the Obama campaign in Harlem, registering voters, getting the word out, confounding people by my not being there for Hillary. So Tuesday I went back. I just wanted to share a few of my inauguration pictures from Harlem.

(And yes, my favorite moment was when Obama paused when John Roberts tripped him up and the man behind me yelled, "Take yo' time, playa!")

Obama poster Bloutout™

Feeling a wee bit too productive at work because of the inauguration coming atcha? Have an excess of Hope and Change to burn off as we bid Bush ado? Have you met: Obaniconme?

Not since the great personalized M&M debacle have I wasted this much time customizing something for friends and family.

Let's meet Kate's supporting players!


The Kosher Cupcake I used to babysit.


Here she is testing out my glasses.


KC and another baby friend enjoying a snack.


My brother modeling his second-favorite Christmas present after the blanket "so soft it makes me wish I had polio."


My mom, looking like a dame from a noir film.


My dad, showing off my parents' comically oversized remote.


Hey, and speaking of things that are comically oversized, it's the previously discussed pink bunny pants...


...which - I wasn't exaggerating - really were big enough for my sister and me.

Oh my God! "Seniors" got lodged in my ass!

Whether you somehow lit your baseball bat on fire just before the shoot or had the word "Seniors" get lodged in your ass, your senior portrait shoot can be fraught with peril.

Remember a few years ago when you passed your pictures out to everyone in the cafeteria and they were all, "OMG, your hair is so cute! And this posed representation totally captured you and your rebellious ways! I can tell just by looking at your hopeful, noble gaze into the future that you are destined for success in any field you choose."

Well, they were lying. You looked ridiculous. Thanks to the magic of Google, it can be quantified how ridiculous. Let's explore.


This handsome devil decided to tell the world he played snare drum in the school band by looking like a reject from the Electric Mayhem. (Fig. 2)




DRAMA CLUB! She's sassy and she doesn't care who knows it.


And he's... boy sassy? Auditioning for the new 90210? You know when a young model hopeful poses for a photographer and he talks her into taking her top off and she regrets it? This is the male equivalent.


Oh my God, you brought your horse.


Ever wonder what would happen if a baby fell into a well and the community didn't rally to get it out? This. He would emerge 16 years later as a fully formed adult, ready to take on the world.




This is all solid advice, and all of it's directed at him:


But Moo-oom, none of the other kids have to pose in front of the flag.


Here's some more great tips on making your portrait memorable!



That's right. Never fear. Your crossed eye can be digitally fixed. Unlike whatever is happening behind Corey.




Speaking of Corey, know what's hot, hot, hot right now? Posing on railroad tracks.







Because nothing sums up a high school senior's future quite like smiling obliviously while the 3:20 train to Real Life comes rumbling up behind you.