Oh I'm sorry, are we boring you, Joe Biden?

Let's review. What did we learn during the Address to the Nation or whatever the non-State of the Union was called. (Change!)

Now we know that ol' hairplugs-and-Chicklet-chompers Joe is wont to nod off when Obama isn't instructing people to clap for him directly. And we learned that Nancy Pelosi is an applause slut who'll apparently just hop to her feet gleefully for anything Obama says.

But the big star of last night came after Obama's part.



America, meet Bobby Jindal, your twing-twanging Bollywood Cajun. He's just a good ol' Southern boy who loves gator wrasslin', boot scootin', and not protecting us from volcanoes. (The fuck?)

(I have a friend who - as a kid - was playing in a friend's yard and the friend's mom yelled out the door, "Get in here! We're havin' meatpies!" Without missing a beat, another friend turned to the kid and goes, "Someone has a new nickname." And the kid answered to Meatpie ever since. I'm calling Bobby Jindal "Meatpie" from now on.)

Don't worry, rednecks, he's not a foreigner, he's just tan from all that good American sunshine. Vitamin D, yo! And if you say it with his Southern accent "Jindal" now sounds like the hickest name ever. (Try it out: "Bobby Jindal! Get yer butt in here! We're havin' meatpies!")

When was the last time the nation rose up as one to think the same thought at the same time? Probably when we all decided we all disliked Bin Laden, right? How do we explain the national consensus that Meatpie Jindal is Kenneth the page from 30 Rock?

And never has Chris Matthews' potato head summed up the feeling of a nation when his open mic caught him muttering "Oh God" as Jindal strode out for his response.

Is it his wide-eyed wonder about the world? The slow enunciation that made us all feel like he was teaching us how to make turkey pictures out of our handprints? Who's to say. All I know is I went to make the comment on a blog and found 50 people had beaten me to it.

Here's a quick roundup of the best (non-Kenneth) reactions I found:

* If I closed my eyes, I would swear Smokey the Bear is giving this response

* Bedtime stories with Bobby

* All I can think of when I see his face is "I'm Casey Kasem counting down the Top 40 songs in the USA, and now, our long distance dedication. It comes from Suzie and she writes, "Dear Casey, could you please play 'Somewhere Out There'?"

* It's like watching a Gomer Pyle cameo in Slumdog Millionaire

* He must not have received his 'extras' check from Slumdog Millionaire yet

* By the way, that is how people talk to 9-year-olds when they aren't used to talking to 9-year-olds. It drives 9-year-olds crazy.

* Also, I'm pretty sure Bobby Jindal is a Muppet.



Jindal/Palin 2012!