What year is it?

Michael is looking terrib ... oh, wait, now I remember.

Graphic graphics

Why does "Babies Making Babies" in this graphic sound ten times dirtier than "babies having babies"?

Just Twitter already Soledad

When will you get past your labels for everyone, CNN? Is this racist or just non-news? Racist non-news? The headline below it was, "Blitzer eating ham in office."

Proposed rewrite: Is Soledad shopping because she's part black or because she's a woman? iReporters, send in your own shopping experiences! Let's talk!

Man bites doughnut

If you're wondering if there's a twist to story #4, no, there's not.


Hey! You're a newly thinner guy. I enjoy not counting anything, especially calories. Should I stick with my all-Fillet-o-Fish diet and this whole not-exercising thing that's going so well for me?


Uh-huh. I see. Well, I'm sort of feuding with math right now in protest of an old geometry grade. What else ya got? And please throw in a smug little quote at the end.


Well OK, that's your opinion. How about an expert. They still think we should eat more to lose weight, right? RIGHT?!?!?!


Oh man, this is changing everything I thought I knew about diets. I guess I'll just head out to train for a marathon, subsisting on only celery sticks until my heart murmur acts up. What's that, CNN legal department?

CNN does not rock

There are at least 11 things wrong with this.

Does CNN think I'm busy or retarded?

CNN has got to be the perfect solution to being on the Internet at work. You look like you're catching up on today's Ahmadinejad updates (oh, Mahmoud, you so crazy!) but you're really getting sucked in by this:



Answers: Don't do it, and yes, she is.

CNN is quickly becoming my top source for all cat-who-called-911 news. But I have to say this takes the cake for uselessness.


The greatest part of this is that it's like a six graph story with three bullet points. WTF? The reader has voluntarily given up a few minutes of their day to read about Jessica Simpson being dumb (Weird, they forgot the Breaking News tag. Huh.) but CNN thinks they still need to distill the item to its essence and parse the difficult language found within the body of the story.

I know this is how Bush prefers getting his news, but the rest of us probably have the wherewithal to slog through the entire 200-word story to answer our burning Simpson-related questions. Or maybe, just maybe, they actually wrote it for Jessica to tell her what’s going on in her life.