Thought of the day

Your thought to ruminate on for the day: Why are there no capital numbers?

Man bites doughnut

If you're wondering if there's a twist to story #4, no, there's not.


Hey! You're a newly thinner guy. I enjoy not counting anything, especially calories. Should I stick with my all-Fillet-o-Fish diet and this whole not-exercising thing that's going so well for me?


Uh-huh. I see. Well, I'm sort of feuding with math right now in protest of an old geometry grade. What else ya got? And please throw in a smug little quote at the end.


Well OK, that's your opinion. How about an expert. They still think we should eat more to lose weight, right? RIGHT?!?!?!


Oh man, this is changing everything I thought I knew about diets. I guess I'll just head out to train for a marathon, subsisting on only celery sticks until my heart murmur acts up. What's that, CNN legal department?

Kate can't math

The last time I voluntarily did math was 1987 when I was trying to calculate how many more teeth I’d have to lose before I could afford that sweet My Little Pony I had my eye on. (Answer: At a quarter a tooth, I’d have to start knocking teeth out of my sister’s mouth. But she could look at Butterscotch all she wanted while I braided her mane!)

The last time I did math under duress was an unfortunate run-in with an 8 a.m. math class my freshman year of college. I think I was thinking it'd be better to get it out of the way early? Who knows. College was a crazy time!

In short, I don’t think the restaurant is being patronizing when they offer tip amounts in various percentages. I will pretty much accept any number that Chase says is in my account. I’d still count on my fingers if it were socially acceptable.

So it almost pains me that I never came up with any of these math test answers. I mean, seriously. It's like they say that when you go blind your hearing gets better. I think when you're math-tarded this happens: