Because I’ve become the Eastern Seaboard black sheep of my family, I was the only one who wasn’t home to fete Mom yesterday. This is apparently what I was missing:
ME: (On the phone with my sister) What are you guys doing today?
SISTER: Mom wanted to watch Atonement, so we’re just about to put that in.
ME: Aw, no, I saw it. Tell Mom it’s pretty sad. OH MY GOD! NO, WAIT! Tell her it centers around the c-word.
SISTER: What? The c-word?
ME: I’m not even joking.
MOM (in the background): What’s the c-word?
SISTER: C-u-n-t.
MOM: What’s that? (Pause) Oh! Oh. Oh no.
BROTHER: (Deadpan) I’m still not following.
DAD: (Hoot of laughter)
ME: Annie, did we just expose Mom to the c-word on Mother’s Day?
SISTER: I’m pretty sure we did.
ME: OK! My work here is done.
AFTERMATH UPDATE:
I called today to see how it all went down.
MOM: Oh, we put it in and I remembered I’d seen it on TV before. It was too sad so we turned it off.
ME: It’s never been on TV before, Mom. You can admit why you turned it off.
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