And to all a good night

Because I’ve become the Eastern Seaboard black sheep of my family, I was the only one who wasn’t home to fete Mom yesterday. This is apparently what I was missing:

ME: (On the phone with my sister) What are you guys doing today?

SISTER: Mom wanted to watch Atonement, so we’re just about to put that in.

ME: Aw, no, I saw it. Tell Mom it’s pretty sad. OH MY GOD! NO, WAIT! Tell her it centers around the c-word.

SISTER: What? The c-word?

ME: I’m not even joking.

MOM (in the background): What’s the c-word?

SISTER: C-u-n-t.

MOM: What’s that? (Pause) Oh! Oh. Oh no.

BROTHER: (Deadpan) I’m still not following.

DAD: (Hoot of laughter)

ME: Annie, did we just expose Mom to the c-word on Mother’s Day?

SISTER: I’m pretty sure we did.

ME: OK! My work here is done.


AFTERMATH UPDATE:

I called today to see how it all went down.

MOM: Oh, we put it in and I remembered I’d seen it on TV before. It was too sad so we turned it off.

ME: It’s never been on TV before, Mom. You can admit why you turned it off.

Stupid WW II ruined my weekend

My best friend in high school made the mistake of watching My Dog Skip the week before we left for college and it made her sob for hours (and then made the mistake of telling me about it).

I always think about that when someone tells me they're shocked I haven't seen The Notebook. Look, I love me some Ryan Gosling as much as any girl with eyes, (even once dated a guy for pretty much the sole reason that he would get mistaken for RG) but I don't like crying in my free time, thanks.

This all leads me to a warning: Don't see Atonement unless you need to cry. A lot. In fact, don't see any movie getting "Oscar buzz," as the kids call it. It's getting awards so you know it doesn't end well.

I was suckered by the beautiful ads. James McAvoy's accent. That kickass green dress Keira Knightly wears in that one scene. I should have just saved my pennies for The Hottie or the Nottie, starring Paris Hilton (as the ... hottie? Wait, that can't be. My monocle fell off in surprise so I can't quite tell from the poster.)

I just kind of looked blankly at my friends after we were done and said, “Well, looks like I’m off for a fun Saturday night cry.” And spent the rest of the weekend (until the Super Bowl) just sort of staring off into the distance and sighing.