I had to fly from Kentucky to New York on Monday, which wouldn't seem to be breaking new ground, but apparently is damn near impossible to do. It took 19 hours, five cities and three layovers so I could sweat myself to sleep in an un-air-conditioned apartment.
Plus, every leg of the trip was made on those dinky planes, the air equivalent of the short bus. I think the other jets were laughing at us. I saw Trump's gold-and-black monstrosity at La Guardia, and I know it let out a condescending chuckle.
At one point while we were on the ground, someone, possibly the pilot got on and said "Whoo! That wind just blew my hair into a nice 'do!" To which the Indian man next to me mumbled "Haha funnyman. Fly the plane."
The highlight was the five hour layover in Buffalo. Did you know Buffalo has a slogan. They reached deep into the vault of creativity and pulled out "Buffalo? Yes, Buffalo!" It speaks volumes about the city.
I imagine this will be the nation's next big catchprase for disbelieving dinner guests tasting bison burgers. It was brought to us by the creative geniuses behind "St. Paul? You betcha!" and "Tulsa? Why the fuck not!"
Things I've seen recently:
* Trump's jet
* A mile of highway adopted by Lifetime, Television for women. I hope it leads to "From trash volunteer to wheelchair bound: The Tiffy Daniels story."
* La Sinogoga, in Harlem. Complete with Star of David and Mexican flag.
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