I’m sulky!

Valentine’s Day pop quiz.

Let’s say it’s Valentine’s Day. On your way to work maybe your face got exfoliated with ice pellets. (Yeah, that’s not snow, Sam Champion. Put away your snowflake graphic.) Perhaps you're feeling a wee bit cold and unloved. What’s the last thing you’d want a random stranger to put on your desk?:

A. Candy
B. A valentine
C. A copy of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition with Beyonce on a tropical beach looking happy, healthy and, most importantly, warm.

Hibernating Bear: There could not be a more perfect contrast between the day I'm having and the day pictured on the front of the magazine.
Me: The only thing worse would be if she were holding a sign like the Roadrunner saying, “I’m loved and you’re not!”
Hibernating Bear: “My boyfriend's a billionaire and yours doesn't exist.”
Me: Beep beep!

Answer: C. (We also would have accepted mystery answer D: A stuffed frog holding a heart.)

Bonus question:

If you were Crazy Monica and you burned your dinner last night to the point of filling the hall with smoke and setting off the smoke detector, would you:

A. Let your roommates know there is no cause for evacuation/fire department calling.
B. Wait until your roommates had their shoes on and were coming to get you to say, “Oh, yeah, I burned my rice. It’s fine.”

Answer: If you don't know the answer, you still win a copy of SI. Come get your prize.