Ok, so I can’t start a sentence that says “You'll never guess what happened on MySpace…” without feeling like a total 11 year old (or like I should be on “To Catch a Predator.” Whatevs.)
Sure, I know, it’s totally legit for someone in his or her 20s to have a page – most of my friends do too – but I can’t shake the feeling that if you’re too old for Tiger Beat, you’re too old for MySpace, with it’s innocuous motto of “A place for friends” totally belying the volume of amateur porn stars who ask if I want to join their ranks.
Mostly though, I just get poetry in the form of comments like so:
*Tuesday baby Tuesday Do u know where ur kids r??? Home Sleep,??? Wrong we at the club shaken dat ass Shaken dat ass, Shaken dat Ass,, Baby Tuesdays@MARQUEE 27th street & 10th ave Let me know if u want to come???
*Whats up KateIts Friday finally I thought it was never gonna get here but now its right on time.. Its kinda like money, orgazims and drug dealers. If some one owes u money and they r suppose to pay u on Monday but now its Wednsday u get angry, gotta pay bills, ur stressed out then they show up with the money and its right on time u forget all about it being late. Or have u ever had an orgazim that came to late or too early as soon as it cums its right on time... I dont think I need to elaborate on the last u get the idea.. The moral of the story is that all the before metion things only r good for a short time so make the best of it while its here... Come to STEREO tonight and make the best of ur Friday night P Diddy and the Fam. was there last Friday so u know its official.. STEREO 29th btw 10th and 11th ave I will be walking in at 12am if u want to meet me infront u can walk in with me or just talk to TIM at the door and tell him ur on Ellingtons guest list. txt or call me when u get there.
Ellington
Oh Ellington, you had me in the first line of your sonnet: "Do u know where ur kids r??? Home Sleep,???"
Lyrical. And my kids thank you for your concern.
That said, you’ll never guess what happened on MySpace! Someone stole my “Who I’d like to meet…” line. Ahem… “Other people, is that a trick question?” It’s not all that clever, but it’s in lieu of just a list of people nobody cares about. And I’m betting most people don’t know who David Cross is, and John Krasinski still has that restraining order out, sooooo…
Anyway Thiefy McPlagerizer then tried to MySpace friend me. Oh no you did-n! So I emailed him.
Me: Huh, um, did you steal my “Who I’d like to meet” line?
Him: Why yes I did, sorry it was just so witty and original....lol....would u like me to erase it?
Guess what pal? Look at my face. I’m not LOLing over here. It negates the originality if you (sorry, “u”) copy it, don’tcha think? The mind reels.
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3 comments:
Ha, Ellington had me at "orgazim." I don't know how I've not yet written a MySpace expose yet. It's one of those things that I approach with some kind of bemused irony, but I really love it and check it every day. Maybe more than once.
Also, you're on the Fung Wah as I type this! Get here faster.
Kate,
I feel the same way about MySpace. I didn't give in until recently, and everyone keeps talking about how addictive it is...somehow it's not so much for me.
One thing that makes me feel weird are those friend requests from australian bimbos I get often. I am glad to know at last I am not the only one getting stuff like that!
I kept wondering what in hell did my profile say that could make these random girls think they wanted to befriend me.
Red – you know you wanna fox wit ellington.
LC – I know, right? I feel so ... violated.
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