As I read (hometown)'s newspaper online, I remember why I used to cry on the inside a lot. And the outside a few times a week. The letters to the editor come from parents of my former classmates, customers I’d have to wait on at the places I worked, your friends and neighbors.Here’s one now! Remember, a real-live person sat down and composed this (possibly on a computer, possibly written in transmission fluid or possum blood) in regards to a survey on banning smoking in restaurants:
…I also asked (local person involved in smoking survey) if I could see who participated in the survey and she told me to go to (Web site) and click on the directory. Of the 1,200 partners, there are 28 restaurants; there were no bars or taverns. For (city) to make an accurate survey, it should include all bars and restaurants, not just a handful. These are the businesses that will suffer from a smoking ban.
Logical! Stop while you’re ahead! Whatever you do, don’t turn it into an anti-gay rant!
The (City) Tobacco Prevention Coalition seems to hold Lexington up as its role-model city. I read in yesterday's paper that Lexington is now ranked 10 as one the nation's most gay-friendly cities. Whoo hoo! Maybe (city) can become the 11th.
If gay recognition comes with these smoke bans, I think that most of the non-smokers would rather live with the cigarette smoke. This ain't gay bashing; it's just that the people of (state) have voted that marriage is between a man and a woman. Let's leave the smoking in the preachers' hands. God knows the Baptists give it to us on a regular basis.
Again, I’d like to emphasize that this was not generated by a big-shot Hollywood writer mocking Homestate. Thank you for your time.
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6 comments:
This was one of the funnier letters I've read in a while! A good 5-10 minutes of non-stop laughs... and you're right, his argument--before he jumped the shark--was really pretty solid.
This is why I LOVE small towns. And why they make me grimace.
Gah! That picture is all kinds of wrong.
r. justin – Keep em coming. They make my day.
Courtney – If I had to look at it, so do you.
Here's another (I'll trim it for the sake of your brevity-minded readers):
On or about February 24, we discovered two Great Horned Owls resting in a parcel of woods on my farm near Smiths Grove ... I though (sic) the Daily News might want to take pictures and maybe write a small article about them so I called the Daily News on February 26 and after speaking to three or four people, I spoke to someone and I don’t think he was very enthusiastic about the idea.(Understatement, I'm sure!) ... He said he would have to send a camera man, so I asked when that might be and he said, “I don’t know, but thanks for the tip.”
I called back the next day and got an answering machine. I left a message, but it was never returned.
I am so disappointed that the Daily News doesn’t have the time or the desire to include more human interest stories. ... I’ll take pictures of those magnificent birds; maybe even write a little story about them. You might like to read it. That’s tough, you had your chance. I’ve run out of generosity, but I do wish your readers who love wildlife could have seen them.
I'm sitting at my desk, and I just made a loud snorting/laughing/honking sound. I'm sad for you that you have no news judgment.
Listen, when I was studying for my GED I learned that there are a lot of studies about the correlation between smoking bans and rampant homosexuality. That poor woman is just doing Jesus's work.
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