If you’re like me—and I’m going to go ahead and assume that you are—you wonder what kind of person would be friends with Mentally Unstable Monica. Wonder no more. M.U. Monica had a party last Friday. Fine. Fair enough. It’s her apartment too.
I’d been up until midnight babysitting the night before (because the fun doesn’t stop with me.) and had to be up at 5 Friday morning for a meeting in Washington D.C. So when I walked in that night to 5,622 people (not an estimate) hanging out, listening to Thriller I was slightly dismayed. Determined to not be the shushing roommate, I said hey to M.U. Monica and went to my room where I tried to sleep for the next 6 hours with people coming into my room looking for the bathroom. Pretty funny stuff, right? They seemed to think so, judging from the giggles. My door doesn’t lock, so I had to ghetto it up with a garbage can in front of the door. They tipped it over.
I pulled M.U. Monica aside around 1 to ask her to make sure her friends knew where the bathroom was. The party went until 3, and friends kept coming in, waking me up and walking back out. They also kept blaring Thriller, which I was more confused than upset by. I was also pretty psyched to stick it to my reggaeton-blaring neighbors.
As her friends left, they were all sure to push open my door to remind me of all the good times we shared. The next day I discovered that someone had also thrown away my shampoo, juniper gel and exfoliating glove. Now how am I supposed to smell like juniper?
M.U. Monica’s reaction to that was, “That’s weird, maybe it was an accident.” Then she went back to reading because she doesn’t own a TV.
Oh, and unrelated: I’m moving this weekend.
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2 comments:
If I was this "Monica" (if that's her real name), I'd have moved out long ago... far, far away from a roommate with such paraphernalia as an "exfoliating glove."
I can't wait to come play in your new place! Also, how great that you live all the way in NY so I don't have to even feel bad about not helping you move!
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