Moms. Am I right, people?
My own mother is impervious to teasing, either because it goes over her head or because she’s way, way more clever and calculating than I realized. I think we know the answer. She has a knack for responding to teasing with heartfelt sincerity. It's adorable and I love her for it.
Witness:
Me: I know I’m your favorite kid, Mom. It’s ok, you can go ahead and tell Kevin and Annie so they can adjust their lives accordingly. You have to start pitting us against each other for your love and affection like Dad does.
Her: I have always loved all my kids equally! You know that. One year at parent-teacher conferences…
And so forth. I recently realized this delightful peccadillo is not confined to my mother when I went to dinner with a friend and her mom. And this is what happened.
My friend: I have this student whose mom won’t let him participate in gym class since he scraped his knee. She wanted him to wear a helmet! Now she wants to meet with me because I gave her son a “meets expectations” instead of “exceeds expectations” on his report card.
Me: You should tell her that he’d have gotten an “exceeds expectations” if he hadn’t suffered all that brain damage from not wearing a helmet.
Her mom: OH NO! YOU CANNOT TELL THAT POOR WOMAN THAT!
Friend: Mooooom….we’re kidding.
Friend’s mom: She’ll be worried sick.
Friend: It’s a joke, mom.
Friend’s mom: You can just be very rational and tell her that while “exceeds expectations” is the ideal to shoot for, there’s nothing wrong with –
Friend (to waiter): Can we get some more bread? Thanks.
Then there was last week’s email exchange with Mum:
Hey, I remember this old story in The Onion and I thought it was funny EVEN THOUGH IT DOES NOT REMIND ME OF YOU.
Clear? OK, it's funny and I'm not teasing you, because you don't like to be teased.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38572
Response:
That was lol funny! I saw no similarity to you and me working out somethings on the computer when you were home, so I never would have thought you were putting me in the same class with that poor woman. God bless her daughter!
Love you
Me
Which is the total essence of the woman. The total love for me. The pitying a fictional daughter in The Onion. All the LOL funny.
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6 comments:
At least your mom can use a computer, my mom can't spell e-mail. Seriously. My dad will (or won't depending on his day) read my mother any e-mail she receives or just print it out for her.
My dad calls the computer "The email machine." True story.
I need more "Lol funny" in my life.
I wish my mom were like your mom. If you try to tease my mom she gets defensive and will hold a grudge for 20 years about it.
My mother still has two things "stuck in her craw" from my childhood:
When I was three years old, I told my mother that Mrs. Ponnery (my daycare cook) made better chile con carne than her. So, now, whenever I mention that I don't like something, she says, 'Perhaps you should ask Mrs. Ponnery to make it."
Then, when I was in high school, I innocently told her that one of my friends noticed I drag my feet when I walk, to which my mother replied: "I'M SORRY, I WAS TOO BUSY KEEPING YOU OFF DRUGS!"
My mom is kind of the anti-mom. She's logical and not sentimental in the least. She doesn't have much of a sense of humor, but she's not the font of sincere emotion that many moms are.
If you ask which kid is her favorite, she'd say me. I was easier to raise than my sister.
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