Please leave and take the two Coreys with you

A vignette from last week

Me: Did you know it’s Canada Day? That’s so cute. You get a whole little day for yourselves.

Canadian friend: It sucks. Black people get a whole month.

Me: You’re too polite to take a day in February.

CF: Once you go black you never go back.

Me: Once you go Canadian, you never go gay again?

CF: Ever hear people sometimes call black people “Canadians” as code?

Me: You know, I tend to get along well with black people and I hate and stereotype
Canadians.

CF: Really?

Me:. I realized not long ago I hate everyone I know from Canada.

CF: You’re so racist.

Me: Canadians aren’t a race. They’re just the generic store brand to America’s Coca Cola and Oscar Meyer.

CF: Nice.

Me: I’ll put a boot in their ass. It’s the American way. Or, as the Canadians would say, “I’ll tap you with my loafer, if that’s not too bothersome, eh?”