Everybody limbo!

Highlight of my day EASILY was I got a stack of maybe 20 papers—I must emphasize without a paperclip—to balance vertically on my desk. Pure joy. There is no second place. There was also no paperclip. Twenty loose papers. Come on.

It reminded me of this photographer I read about over the summer. I forget where he lives, so I'll just go out on the nuts-o limb of my crazy tree and say Williamsburg. He made a whole exhibit of taking pictures on the subway of people's faces as they realized they weren't going to catch the train. He had some quote like, "Sure, there are bigger tragedies in the world, but you can't beat that moment for one of pure disappointment."

And it's true, nothing will get your day off to a more pigeon-kicking start or make you want to take to your bed with the vapors at the end of a hard day more than realizing you've got to spend an extra 15 minutes in a special kind of poop-infested underground lair created by the City of New York. It's like limbo between earth and hell, where unbaptized commuters go. It's doubly bad if, like yesterday, you miss it by inches because you were trying to not shove your fellow man down the subway stairs. Sometimes I get the impression that people with crutches just aren't really trying. Are they using their disability as a...well, crutch I guess?

I've thought about what the opposite might be. It's not when you realize the train is coming, because that's a gradual joy. You can crane your neck out precariously and talk yourself into thinking you see lights and feel the rumble. For a moment of unadulterated, pony-under-the-Christmas-tree delight, I have to go with landing an apple core in the garbage can across the room. Because it's always a little surprising, and if people are there to witness it, I truly believe that's what winning a three-peat would be like.

My endorsed sneaker logo would be the apple core. And my motto would be "Nothing but wastepaper-basket."