Leaving my mark, one M at a time

Like many fools, I send out Christmas cards every year.

I search for the right words that say "have a pleasant holiday of your choosing, or simply acknowledge that it's winter," and struggle to fill up the appropriate length so you don't just get a piece of paper that says "Happy Holidays! Kate."

Turns out, I've been wasting everyone's time. This year, you're all getting personalized M&Ms. Can you imagine boiling down a year's worth of sentiments into four lines of eight characters? I can.

Boy can I.

Although the rules prohibit name brands (So no, "Suck it, Red Sox!"), celebrity names ("I will find you, Macauly Culkin") or inappropriate language ("You look like shit today!") I'm pretty confident I can find ways around all those rules.

What could be more delicious than candy? Candy that speaks to your personal hopes and dreams (or fears and shortcomings). If you're on the list, consider this your Christmas card and feel free to reciprocate in kind.

(This is true: Before you buy, you have to swear "you are at least eighteen years of age (nineteen in Alabama and Nebraska; twenty-one in Mississippi." So don't get any crazy ideas, Mississippi teens. You can't be trusted to make your mark on an M until you're of legal drinking age.)



For Good Roommate, who's had a rough month.







For crazy Monica, my other roommate, who ain't all there.







For Mom, who worries.








For Dad, apparently an international man of mystery, who got Legionnaire's disease.





For my sister, Annie, who needs to start delivering nieces and nephews to me so I have an excuse to go to Baby Gap. I want to make her feel awkward and pressured as possible.







For her husband, Matt, in the army.







For my brother, Kevin, who doesn't read my blog or get regular haircuts. (Damn you, character limit!)







For "Wigurski," who doesn't really know what my job entails, but isn't afraid to make requests anyway.





And finally, for nobody in particular. Want to make that criticism/threat go down sweeter?: