Lawsuits are pretty awesome. Everyone knows this.
Last year, as the result of some legal settlement, (about what, I don't know. Who can keep up with them all!) my company made literally every last employee in this multi-national media conglomerate watch a video of our ethics policy. Over the course of a month we were herded by the thousands into this “1984”-style situation of a man projected on a giant screen reading … God knows what. Half of us fell asleep immediately. The other half waited to confirm it was the most boring thing they’d ever heard before falling asleep.
I was in the second group. I fought the good fight before nodding off, only to be woken up to the sound the man saying “Burma” followed by laughter. Say what? Burma humor? I asked my friend what I missed and she said it was this guy talking about something in Myanmar. Then he threw up huge air quotes and said, dripping with sarcasm “Burma”. Look, I’m sorry you don’t recognize the nation’s sovereignty from England with ….oh look at that. I’m asleep again.
So this country “Myanmar-formerly-known-as-Burma” as we’re all legally bound to call it. What up wit dat? (For these and questions re: airline peanuts and observations about white people dancing, don’t miss my one-woman show next week!)
What the? Where’d Burma go on my map? Myanmar must be a pretty new country for everyone to still be confused!
Oh well you better check your atlas’ year of publication (oh snap!), because (I just learned) it’s been Myanmar since 1948. That’s right. The year your grandparents got married. We’ve spent (counting on fingers, hold on) years calling it Myanmar-formerly-known-as-Burma.
Who is this helping? Isn’t this like saying “Abraham Lincoln, who is dead, was a tall man.”
Wake up, newspapers of America, with your mandatory Myanmar-formerly-known-as-Burma country. You've been in the pocket of Big Burma long enough. I know you all had winter homes there, but, like your stepfather Bill, it's gone and not coming back. Time to move on and forget it (and Bill) was ever in your life.
Posts
6 comments:
Ah - but my favorite must be Persia (then quietly whispered "you know, Iran"). I don't want an Iranian Cat (or any cat for that matter, but still) or an Iranian rug. I'll stick with Persia on that one.
It's so true. God help us if Trinidad and Tobago ever divorce.
I've wondered about this Burma thing too. Why the hell do we still call it Myanmar-formerly-Burma when countries like Belize (was British Honduras as recently as 1981) is never called anything but Belize?
I love America.
The US government refuses to use the name Myanmar in official statements, so the reporters are stuck with quotes from government officials about Burma and maps that say Myanmar.
Myanmar sounds like some new marshmallow cookie or candy to compete with mallomar.
And that previous post was almost entirely devoid of humor. Sorry, I'm unable to wittily reply at the moment. Love the blog though. I'm adding a link to my blog for this one.
Post a Comment