"I like to relax!"

Another Match candidate comes so close, yet blows it. I think the extra special oomph in this attempt comes from the exclamation points. It feels like he's shouting to me at a club!


WELL 1ST OFF I LOVE TO BE OUTDOORS! I LIKE TO RELAX!

You seem very relaxed. What else do you love?

I LOVE LONG DRIVES, VACATIONS, SUNRISES AND SUNSETS! I LOVE TO GO CAMPING AND BE IN NATURE I ALS LIKE TO MAKE PEOPLE SMILE AS WELL! IM VERY EASY GOING REALLY WHATEVER "WE" DO TOGETHER WILL BE FUN

Why does “we” in quotes creep me out so much? What are your thoughts on race relations?

WERE ALL THE SAME IN GODS EYES...TRUE LOVE HAS NO ETHNICITIES!!

I’m sure Gods agree.

I DONT GO TO CHURCH BUT I DO WATCH JOEL OSTEEN EVERY WEEK!!! HE IS AWSOME!! JUST GETS TO THE POINT!!

Really?!?!?! The megachurch minister who preaches that God (sorry “Gods”) wants us to be rich? The one whose wife got kicked off a plane for being such a bitch and ended up chartering a flight to their ski trip instead? That one? His impending to-be-determined scandal will be the greatest show ever.

DESCRIBE MYSELF???

Does this offend you somehow?

WELL...IM ABOUT 6 FT. BLONDE HAIR BLUE EYES!! VERY CONFIDENT!! WELL DRESSED!! WELL GROOMED!! AND WELL MANNERED!!

Fan of short thoughts!!

(I WAS RAISED IN THE SOUTH FOR A WHILE, TEXAS, WHERE THEY KNOW HOW TO TREAT A LADY)

Editor’s note: untrue.

SOME GOOD OLD FASHION R & R!!! I LOVE TO TRAVEL AND CULTURALLY DIFFUSE MYSELF!!!

Say what?

LIKE WILL AND JADA OR JAY-Z AND BEYONCE ...BONNIE AND CLYDE...IM LOOKING FOR MY "BESTFRIEND" SO TO SAY...LIKE BAD BOYS WE RIDE TOGETHER WE DIE TOGETHER...

Oh my God, he’s got a bank heist planned for our date and he’s going to use me as a human shield. Could you now just type out the next few nonsense thoughts/rap phrases you’ve heard somewhere? Just whatever comes into your head?

BAD BOYS FOR LIFE!!! JUST REALLY A COOL GIRL!!! A DOWN ASS CHICK!!! YA.FIGURE.DEAL.ME!!! I MEAN I LIKE A SWEET GIRL A PRINCESS SO-TO-SAY OR AT LEAST SOMEONE I CAN MAKE MY PRINCESS!!

Thanks. This would be a good time to call your potential date a bitch and allude to domestic problems.

AT THE SAME TIME I LIKE A BITCH PARDON MY FRENCH BUT A GIRL WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE WANT AND HOW TO GET IT!!! A GIRL WHO WONT TAKE ANY B.S. WELL EXEPT FOR ME...JUST KIDDING, INCLUDING ME!!! WHEN IM RIGHT I WANT TO KNOW IT AND WHEN IM WRONG PUT ME IN MY PLACE!!

I DONT REALLY DO THE BAR THING ALMOST NEVER DO THE CLUB THING...

Really?(!!!) then why have I met you in every bar I’ve ever been in? But I’m sure a great guy like you has no problem meeting someone.

I GUESS IN MY MIND THOSE PLACES ARE FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE TROUBLE MEETING SOMEONE...ME IVE NEVER HAD THAT PROBLEM, MY PROBLEM IS MEETING THE RIGHT GIRL, MY PRINCESS, AND I KNOW FOR DAMN SURE SHE ISNT IN A BAR OR CLUB.

Editor’s note: Yes, she is. She’s the one with the lower back tattoo and the even lower self-esteem.

I RUN A CONSTRUCTION COMPANY IN MANHATTEN Editor’s note: Manhattan AND THE 5 BOROS Editor’s note: Boroughs SOMETIMES ON LONG ISLAND Editor’s note: one out of three ain’t bad.

I AM VERY AFFECTIONATE IN A WAY???

Are you asking or telling?

THAT I LOVE KISSING...KISSING IS SO AWSOME TO ME!! ITS VERY SENSUAL AND SEXUAL...

Yup, you’re the first one to make the link between kissing and sex. Science should look into it.

(YOU CAN TELL ALOT ABOUT A KISS)

Go on, finish the thought. No? OK. Now babble about sex for a bit…

AND OBVIOUSLY WITH THAT ALSO IS SEX, WELL I LIKE TO MAKE LOVE PERSONALLY BUT GOOD SEX WITH THE RIGHT PERSON IS VERY IMPORTANT!!! ALOT OF IT TOO!!! MAYBE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU ALL AT ONCE BUT I DONT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH AND I DONT WANT TO MISLEAD ANYONE...I MEAN I AM LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT ONE AND THE RIGHT ONE WILL UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!!

To clarify, you’re talking about sex?