Putting the rath in Rathbones

Food inspires a lot of emotions in me. The emotion of hunger mostly. But also happiness! It’s all smiles times when there’s dinner afoot.

It takes a lot for food to inspire rage. This is the girl who once went on a first date and was completely happy eating a bowl of leeks because it was the only non-meat item on the menu.

As I’ve covered, white chocolate, raisins, licorice and cooked green peppers make me feel all punch-y. Sandwiches were not on that list until yesterday.

I went to a bar with friends for a two-for-one drink deal, and I know that when it’s beer that gets you in the door you shouldn’t complain the lack of gourmet cuisine BUT that’s not going to stop me from pointing out that two slices of unbuttered toast with melted Kraft singles (presented open-faced) does not constitute a grilled cheese sandwich on this or any other planet. When I order a grilled cheese, I expect to see Jesus' - or at least Mother Teresa's - mug all up in there.

And when you charge $8 for the plastic-cheese toast and notice the customer has only eaten one bite, you – the waitress – shouldn’t bother to argue that it was, in fact grilled cheese because the bread was grilled and had cheese on it.

Argh, foiled by semantics again.

Can I just point out that you can’t just start breaking down foods into their literal meanings? If I ordered Grape Nuts and got a bowl of gapes and walnuts, or if I wanted to snack on some tasty peanuts and got a bowl of snap peas and cashews IT WOULDN’T BE THE SAME THING.

Not smiles times. Not smiles times at all.